Why We Do What We Do??
Why we do what we do? I’ve been asking myself this question lately mostly when I’m doing things less enjoyable. There is not much to think about as far as why we do enjoyable things, because duh, we enjoy doing them! But why we do things that make our eyes rolling, sigh or even gag a little bit inside? Why do we choose to munch on baby carrots when everyone else in the office is raving over free donuts? Why we say no to a beach house party and choose to stay at home working? Why we follow rules although we lowkey think they are bs?
A good answer to the question is motivation. But first, we have to distinguish drive and motivation, which are two terms that are often mixed-used in our daily expressions, but in fact, they are quite different yet connected. In one sentence, drives are the force behind motivation. Motivation can be acquired and learned, in contrast, drives are innate, mostly activated by deprivation. Motivation is used more often today to explain complex human behaviors since drive is more about the innate nature of human beings (e.g. we say sex drive but not sex motivation).
We human being are born with pursuits, from basic ones (eating and sleeping) to more complex ones (feeling valued and belonged), the urge or driving force that nudges us to behave certain ways is essentially why we do what we do.
Physiological Equilibrium
An interesting account for primary drives is the concept of homeostasis. Homeostasis refers to a mediating system within us that balances the internal environment and external environment. For instance, when our body temperature is too high, the perspiration mechanism kicks in to maintain a relatively lower temperature to keep our organs function normally.
Homeostasis is good for explaining behaviors at the physiological level but it may not explain certain scenarios. Imagine we are stuck in a long-winding conference with a very important client; and you are, unfortunately, starving because you skipped breakfast. While hearing all the discussions and talks going back and forth between the client and your team, all you could think of is food. Would you excuse yourself from the conference to get a cheeseburger? I suppose most people won’t. Well, if we follow the famous Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, there is no way to skip over a layer to reach the layer above, right? Unfortunately, there is no standard formula for every single type of human behavior.
Benefit Maximization
In spite of the most well-known motivation theory by Abraham Maslow, which later be considered as the cornerstone of its succeeding motivation theories, some other theories have also helped make sense of human behaviors. For instance, economics believe we do things base on the weighing outcomes. In our conference example, you might choose to stay in the conference room because you believe that being a part of the discussion outweighs the benefit brought by leaving the conference and embarrass your team just to fill yourself up. This theory makes sense of many situations where it involves decision making — we are constantly weighing options that maximize the benefit for ourselves. You choose to stay in the conference probably because you don’t want to be blamed as a “not considering the big picture” type of team member. It’s good intention overall, but you’ve calculated the outcomes.
However, as we understand more about human behaviors as time passes, we came to realize that humans are not rational 100% of the time. In fact, we are quite irrational, biased and susceptible.
Avoid Risks and Losses
An interesting finding across multiple research shows that we are actually averse taking risks more than making gains. For instance, the mood swing we may have from losing 20 bucks is more than that of when we received 20 bucks from someone. The reality that we are naturally risk and loss aversion is also reflected in when a fact is framed differently: when treatment with a success rate of 30% is normally advertised that way instead of “treatment not working 70% of the time”, even though both expressions are regarding the same treatment.
A quite accurate representation of how we decide which actions to take is as below:
We calculate what each possible action could lead towards; which action might generate more gains or losses. It is based upon the contingent occurrences using a set of “formulas” that are unique to each and every individual. This is basically the Prospect Theory proposed by Daniel Kahneman, a Nobel Prize-winning economist.
HOWEVER, the accuracy and validity of our little “formulas” change from time to time due to so many factors, just like our iPhones, except that our system updates much more often than those electronic devices. That’s why we sometimes, well all the time, feel regretful.
The Mystic Unconscious Mind
The visible and invisible part of an iceberg is the analogy Sigmund Freud used to describe the human mind. The ice underneath the water is a mystic yet fascinating area that is known as an underlying system that automates behaviors: if all behaviors require deliberated calculation, our ancestors would not have survived.
The unconscious mind is formed with past experiences, emotions developed around events and traumas (basically anything could contribute to forming the unconscious system). It consolidates itself through repetitious activation and forms behaviors of certain pattern AKA habits. For instance, a lot of people fetch their phone first when they wake up every morning, play with their phone before sleep — this behavior is repeated enough times it becomes a part of our unconscious. I once tried to break this habit by forcing myself not to play with my phone before bed, and I had insomnia that night. Well, the power of the unconscious mind.
However….
There are still many unexplainable or vaguely accounted human behaviors such as gossip, superstition, daydreaming, etc. Even already proven accounts are overthrown and replaced by newer researches and schools of theories.
But, still, why we cringe over things we did 2 years ago? Or laugh about a meme we saw on Instagram from last week?
I seriously have zero idea.
